10 (ish) Random Facts About Me: A Note on the Benefits of Inclusion and Belonging
TW: phobias, mental health, race, sexuality
“Candace is really weird. You just have to accept it!”
I laughed as my best friend was introducing me to someone new so matter-of-factly. I cheekily replied, “It’s true! But oddly enough, some are even weirder because they grow to love my strange qualities – including my best friend here!”. Of course, the stranger’s next logical question was, “What’s so weird about Candace?”. Today, I will share a snippet of the list that I and my friends have lovingly (…?) compiled:
I have many phobias. For example, I am afraid of inverted corners, large chunks of meat and meat on bone, needles, walking downhill, ALL bugs/insects (even ladybugs and butterflies), driving, blood, and mold. My phobias can be rather annoying to myself and those around me!
I bathe every day. Sometimes for hours. Not only is it my highly protected quiet time, but I also use the hot baths to manage pain. I once excused myself from a Halloween party that my household was hosting to take a bath in the middle of the festivities. I have been called high-maintenance for my dedication to and need for daily bathing.
I am still learning to manage my generalized anxiety disorder, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and body-focused repetitive disorder (more on all these later!). On numerous occasions, I have been called variations of crazy, uptight, dramatic, and a perfectionist for displaying some of the symptoms.
English was not my first language. In fact, it wasn’t even my second. It was my third. I grew up speaking Cantonese, then Mandarin, then English. Now, over time, English is my preferred language. I have unfortunately lost all connection to Mandarin. I am often referred to as a “banana” or “jook sing” (bamboo pole) for losing much of my cultural identity over time.
I describe myself as “allergic to the world”. I am allergic to numerous foods, animals, and other environmental factors – even my own sweat! My daily routine includes multiple medications in an attempt to keep the symptoms under control. I once had a manager call me a “princess” because I mentioned I could not eat the gifted staff chocolates due to my peanut allergy.
I am pansexual. I did not accept my sexuality until I was in my mid-twenties. However, as I have only been in heterosexual-presenting relationships, people have called me fake and/or merely seeking attention whenever I “came out”.
I like to play video games. More specifically, I play cozy games. I enjoy games that are more relaxing where nothing is actively attacking me, I cannot die in the game, and require low skill/precision. As a fully-fledged adult who invests time and resources into gaming, I have been called “immature.”
I am obsessed with the following franchises: Sanrio (Hello Kitty and Pochacco are my favorites), Sailor Moon (forever in love with Sailor Neptune and Sailor Pluto), Cardcaptor, and Nintendo. I collect and display many knickknacks related to all four. I have even displayed pieces of my collection in professional office settings. I have been called “childish” for my collection.
My partner identifies as white and Métis. I have been excommunicated from family, called a “traitor to my own people”, and “just trying to be trendy” for dating outside my race.
I am child-free by choice. I have made this decision based on a number of physical, mental, emotional, and lifestyle factors. I regularly get told that I am selfish, that I will change my mind, or that I will regret it one day.
Bonus facts with no context: I hate pants, I require a concerning amount of sauce on all foods, my bucket list includes doing stand-up comedy one day, I have zero sense of direction, I love Yin yoga, and I am a very fast reader!
Yes, I am weird. Maybe we all are! My life has been a journey of learning self-love and acceptance. However, despite some of my quirks and associated hurtful comments/experiences from others, I know that many of them can also be strengths:
My phobias and health challenges mean I am always aware of every possible outcome and will plan/prepare accordingly. This has made me highly strategic and effective in the workplace!
My existence between two vastly different cultures has made me more self-aware, empathetic, and curious. I value my unique cultural identity because it prepared me to consult in the space of equity, diversity, and inclusion.
My hobbies and lifestyle choices have made me comfortable with challenging the status quo while always remaining true to myself. I live in harmony with one of my core values: integrity.
I have not always viewed these parts about myself positively. It took having great friends, an inspiring leader, and a supportive team around me to truly appreciate my uniqueness. One of the first times I ever felt truly accepted and seen was in the workplace. After decades of feeling like an outcast, I finally found community at work. That is a part of why I am so passionate about organizational transformation. I know that having the right leadership and culture can help foster environments where everyone thrives. Numerous studies have also supported my experiences. When done correctly, organizations that focus on leadership, diversity, equity, and inclusion can benefit from:
Increased creativity and innovation
Reduced stigma and discriminatory attitudes
Improved employee mental health and well-being
Higher employee engagement and retention
Enhanced market share/financial returns
Superior organizational performance and reputation
Final (bonus) fact: My mission is to help create inclusive environments where everyone feels safe, valued, and inspired to be and do their best. I absolutely love the work that I do because I know it can change lives and organizations for the better!
Reflection Questions:
What makes you unique? How can you use those qualities and/or experiences as strengths?
Describe a recent positive interaction at work where you felt accepted, heard, and/or seen.
What do you specifically need to feel included? How do you make others feel included?
References
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